Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hope means a lot to us spoonies

The human body is amazing, really.  I've been reading Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain: A Survival Manual (2nd Edition) by Devin J. Starlanyl and Mary Ellen Copeland.  The book is really well written and I'm learning a lot.  I still have a few chapters to go, though.  

There are so many processes that go on in the human body that I'm in awe.  The more I learn about the body and the many processes our bodies go through each day the more I'm amazed that with all that can go wrong, anyone is healthy.  Considering the many processes my body does each day I'm amazed that I'm this healthy!

I've been reading about chronic myofascial pain (CMP).  CMP is an actual disease, unlike fibromyalgia,, which is a syndrome, or collection of symptoms.  A disease has a specific cause.  There are so, so many places in the body that can form myofascial trigger points (TrP).  A TrP is different than a fibromyalgia tender point.

CMP is common, which surprised me.  I'm amazed at how many TrP can exist.  I think the best thing I've learned about CMP is that you can make it go away.  Yay!  I'm still reading on how to make them go away.  I want to get a couple more books on it from Amazon.  This is good news, though.  I kinda feel like it gives me hope, you know?  

In the first drawing you can see how the contraction knots form in normal muscle fibers.  I thought it really showed it well.  The second drawing I'm not as familiar with, but it shows a bunch of possible TrP that can occur in the back.

I still really don't have a doctor for my fibromyalgia.  I would like to see Dr. K out toward Kansas City, MO but for some reason he said he would only see me that once.  He wanted me to go to see a doctor specializing in EDS (which I will) but that still leaves no doctor to take care of my fibro...which is definitely  a problem.  After we get the car fixed I hope to be able to make an appointment with him.  I'm trying to get into physical therapy but no doctor wants to write the script.  I can't help but get a bit angry that the doctors go home each night and get up each day without being disabled by pain.  When I leave their office they don't have to deal with me anymore.  I don't get a break from the pain.  I am trying not to be angry, though.  Anger isn't productive.  Besides, with the car not running I couldn't get to physical therapy anyway.  I really, really hope that we can get the car running again soon!

Picture 1 from Amazon.comPicture 2 from TandemPicture 3 from Trisoma

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Dealing with the "F Word" and People Who Really Care

Ah, the "f word." I hate it, but I have to live with it.  Sometimes I feel like the "f word" is ruling my life. The "f word" is fibromyalgia in case you didn't figure that out yet.  I want to take my life away from fibro, but I can't seem to find a way to.  Also I'm having problems that come along with fibromyalgia, like digestive problems that I suspect are caused by IBS, and pelvic pain.  I had a doctor appointment set up at Katy Trail (the poor people doctor office) but I chickened out and didn't go.  It was for the suspected IBS.  There really isn't much they can do anyway.  Then I had an appointment set up at my gyno's office for the pelvic pain I've been experiencing for months.  I once again cancelled because I chickened out.  When you already hurt having your hoo-hah examined first thing in the morning isn't fun.  Well gyno visits, or any doctor visits are not fun, but some visits are much less fun than others.  In fact it's the opposite of fun.

Right now I'm relaxing on the couch waiting for my honey to get home.  Maybe relaxing isn't the right word.  I wish I could relax!  Instead I am sitting partially slouched over because of back pain, my flopping shoulder joints are supported by my elbows on my thighs, I can feel the pain and tightness in my neck, upper and middle back radiating down my body.  My fingers hurt too bad to write but fortunately I can still type.  My ankle joints are loose and painful.  I can feel all my muscles tight, and in pain.  Not even my toes are exempt from pain.

Now if I told you this when you asked how I was, you'd run, wouldn't you?  No one seems to really care about how others feel.  People tend to only worry about their own problems.  One of the things I've learned in the last 8 months is that other spoonies are very supportive of each other.  When I tell a spoonie friend what is going on they care.  I mean they don't just give a half-hearted "Uh, huh, get better soon."  My spoonie friends really care.  I really care about them, too.  I'm not saying that non-spoonies don't care at all, I'm just talking about my experiences.  My bff Om really cares, as does her family.  My wonderful pen pals really care, at least most of them.  So there are people in my life who I know care.  Last but certainly not least, I know that my husband, Jim, cares.